Do you have regular fears that your lover may abandon you? Do you become nervous when you divulge too much about yourself because you’re afraid you’ll alienate the person? Do you fantasise about finding a way out of a relationship? Do you worry when your lover appears distant?
Do you have a habit of going on many dates at the same time? Do you require your spouse’s constant reassurance? Do you micromanage your spouse, always wanting to know where he or she is and what they are up to? Do you have a paranoid streak? Do you struggle with making commitments? Do you avoid new relationships because you’re afraid of being rejected? If you responded yes to the majority of these questions, you may be experiencing abandonment difficulties. If you want the Astrology consultancy to really work for you, then 2 things related to of Husband wife problem should be clear in your mind by consulting World Famous Astrologer.
Do you maintain a low profile? Would you characterise yourself as guarded? Are you wary about new relationships? Individuals who have been abandoned have profound trust concerns. They keep people at a safe distance and put on a harsh demeanour. They keep their cards close to their vest, and if they do share something about themselves, it is highly selective. These private barriers shield them from additional rejection and disappointment.
Have you been accused of being cold and distant by your partner? Do you rely on yourself too much? Disengagement is one-way people who have experienced abandonment deal with their emotions. You don’t entirely commit since you can’t be abandoned if you don’t fully commit. Nobody can harm you if you do not put your heart into it. These people are self-destructive; they do not allow themselves to be dependant on anyone. They will not rely on anybody else. This power play, however, comes at the cost of intense loneliness.
People who are afraid of abandonment find it difficult to feel affection. They have difficulty recognising and expressing their feelings. They may appear disconnected from their experiences and connections. Abandoned people may reject physical and emotional consolation from their spouses, such as a hug or a compliment. They frequently conceal their true selves, which makes connecting difficult. For example, instead of acknowledging that you desire more physical love from your spouse, you employ defence mechanisms such as acting as if you don’t care, even when you do.
You’re in charge.
As a result, they go to great lengths to ensure that desertion does not occur again. They are afraid of losing control and clench their fists on practically every occasion. You grow nervous if everything is not done your way. Do you tend to micromanage your significant other? Do you tell white lies to your friends?
Do you use oblique comments and recommendations in an attempt to sway your partner’s opinion? Do you threaten your spouse with emotional blackmail to keep them from leaving you? Are you always planning your next move? Are you extremely self-contained, ensuring that you look flawless to control how others perceive you? Manipulation strategies such as these, whether overt or covert, are used to force your spouse to love and stay with you. When a relationship’s constancy begins to wane, these controlling tactics become more prevalent.
When confronted with a situation, persons suffering from abandonment fantasise about the worst-case scenario. They become trapped in severe thought habits. When a buddy is late, you suppose the friendship is ended. When you perceive judgement, you say to yourself, “I am foolish.” “I am usually mistaken.” When you quarrel with a relative, you automatically believe that person despises you.
These negative schemas are automatic and are the result of trauma. “People always leave,” is another form of abandonment mentality. I don’t require anyone’s assistance. Nobody can be relied on. I am disliked and despised. I need to earn people’s love. I’m not going to be able to live without that individual. Everything is always my fault. I am undeserving. “Everything goes wrong.”
Do you get rid of people before they have a chance to leave? Do you smother your lover and grow uneasy when you’re separated? Individuals who suffer from abandonment anxiety ruin their relationships by either clinging on too tightly or not holding on at all. Some pursue untrustworthy or abusive partners, which puts them up for re-abandonment.
These seemingly paradoxical acts are self-protective mechanisms used to avoid closeness. Intimacy is too dangerous since it necessitates vulnerability, which may expose you to future rejection. Abandoned individuals, to prevent the potential of suffering, turned off their emotions like a switch. For example, you may feel yourself “put off” by your spouse during sex. Fear will rob you of your capacity to love and be loved. You will not allow yourself to connect because you are too consumed with looking for signals of rejection or because you are too busy.